Letting That Shit Go

 

This is my favorite coffee cup. (Followed closely by Bernie & his mittens). 

I’m trying. I’ve been studying Buddhism  (while I’m ranting, can I just take a moment to say how full of shit the fundamentalist Christian peeps of my youth were? They had me outright scared of something they probably knew nothing about.)  Anyway, the yoga, the meditation, the looking for some peace has always been me, so it seems natural that I’d study it  I recently added some books to my kindle & noticed that I had either already read or had marked to read many books on the history, practice, etc 

Anyway... I’ve gone to an (online) temple service a couple of times. I missed last week because I was in a different time zone & there were grand babies. But I’m looking forward to a series of study they are offering for the next few weeks  

All of this to say, I’m working on my stress and anxiety and depression. There have been some really bad & really dark days lately. Logic tells me that in addition to my shitty brain chemistry, it’s got a lot to do with COVID & the stress that it’s brought all of us who care about other people.  And for me specifically, because I tend to be a justice seeker, I get really upset when people are purposely awful.  I don’t mean the went to a restaurant, saw a friend, whatever people.  I mean the ones who refuse to wear masks, who harass others for doing so, who cough on people in stores, go to Mardi Gras, have 20 people over (I don’t even like 20 people enough to do that  😬). It’s frustrating to me that they don’t care about anyone else.  And I need to let that shit go because it’s not my battle. 

It’s the same for the q cult. I can feel the physical pain of frustration when I see some of the batshit crazy & easily disproven things being circulated. As an academic type, former teacher, & seeker of new knowledge, I just want to bang my head on the wall when I see people denying science or being more outraged over a fucking toy potato than half a million dead Americans.  Don’t even get me started on global numbers because it’s hard enough to get my fellow countrymen to give a rat’s ass about anyone but themselves, let alone someone from another country.  

I’ve been trying though.   I’m not engaging them.  Every now & then, I’ll slip.  But I’ve been trying to be at least nicer in my responses.  Instead of  “you wouldn’t know the meaning of that word if I smacked you in the head with an open dictionary” I’ve been trying to ask what they think it means, what policy or source they are referring to.  Most of the time, that’s the end of it  because they’re just looking for an argument. 

I’m trying not to put anymore negative into the world, while simultaneously not taking anyone’s crap. I’m not very good at it, but please know I’m trying.