Friday, December 9, 2011

Twitter Is Hazardous To My Health (PG-13 mental images included)

I guess I should start at the beginning.  I was tweeting with some awesome people: @SpeerOz, @jenniferlaustin, and @blogginglily   We were talking about going the gym, or avoidance thereof.

I was peer-pressured encouraged to go ahead and go.  Right before I left, the topic of treadmills vs. running outside came up and I mentioned that I needed to mostly run on a treadmill because my ankle is full of metal. Of course, I mentioned this, but left them hanging.  I'd be back in an hour or so, right?

Here's that story:  Two and a half years ago, I was walking down my back steps with my husband, stepson, and then 8 month old Fia to get ice cream.  I was also reading a tweet about ghee written by amalah  (if you don't follow her, you should, she's freaking hilarious).  Anyway....down the stairs I went.  I broke my ankle in three places.  Of course, even though my ankle was dangling at a horrifying right angle from my leg, I was still concerned about where my phone landed.  Five days in the hospital, two surgeries, and lots of metal later, I found myself stuck on the couch for about 10 weeks.  Because I was playing on Twitter while I was walking.

Fast forward to today. I was at the gym, still tweeting while I was still walking slowly on the treadmill.  I put my phone down, as I was getting hot and started taking off my sweatshirt with one hand, and to hang on with the other.  I've done this before, but I always remembered to stand on the side rails. I pulled my shirt up, it got stuck on my head and I noticed that my t-shirt was coming up too, so I let go with the other hand....and went flying off of the treadmill.  Ok, maybe not flying, because I wasn't going that fast, and it kinda felt like slow motion.

As I landed on my butt on the floor of the gym (and while it wasn't packed, there were plenty of people there), I started laughing and then I realized that I had managed to pull BOTH of my shirts off.  So, I'm sitting there on the floor of the gym, with no shirt on - just a sports bra.  And laughing my ass off.

I frantically pulled my t-shirt out of my sweatshirt, put it back on, and hopped on the treadmill.  And immediately Tweeted about what I had just done.  Because, of course.


  1. jeez. . . you're like some sort of graceful jungle cat of the gym.

    And also, that's a pretty funny story, in hindsight.

    And also, also, you may have a "twitter problem"

  2. I agree with Jim. You may have a twitter problem. And I love that you remembered what tweet you were reading.

    And just think, all of this started because SpeerOz tweeted that she needed a reminder to run yesterday eve.

    Keep on truckin Crystal! Great job getting back into the gym. Going is half the battle. Just.... tweet between exersizes. Not Durring.

  3. Well I am glad you didnt get hurt. That is something I would do laugh while feeling like a dummass. I have fallen with a big back of ice at a bday embarrassing. and laughed my ass off!-D

  4. I think the Twitter Gods were watching over you. I think metal in your butt would have hurt more than the ankle.

  5. Hilarious! It's funny because it's true. That saying makes so much sense because it's so true. Ok, now I'm starting to sound like an idiot. Anyway, great post.

    A long time ago when I was fit enough to go to a gym, I worked the morning shift at a gym and got to see some pretty funny accidents.

  6. hi-larious! I was recently concerned about MY Twitter™ problem, but now i feel sooo much better!

  7. hahaha I wish I could have seen that. I would have fallen off of my treadmill laughing. haha

  8. Stripping, tweeting, treadmill walking multitasking maniac you are!!