Dance Recital Tips - Redux

I'm reposting last year's REAL tips for recital without the forward because none of that stuff was related to recital, nor is it relevant this year. (Thank God!!)

So, here we go...

#1 Your child is a preshush snowflake. We know this.  So is the person's child beside yours. Remember that. Everyone wants to to see their child perform. As a result, please refrain from the following behaviors:

• Stressing yourself out as if recital is an audition for the Joffrey Ballet.  It's not. And even if it was, it's the child's audition. Not yours.
• Yelling at your child and then yelling at them for crying because their eyes will be red on stage.
• Standing in front of people during the performance, thereby obstructing the view of someone else's preshush little snowflake.
• Talking during the performance. Just because you aren't interested, doesn't mean the person beside you isn't.
• Criticizing another child.  You don't know if their parents are sitting next to you.

#2 Respect the dance teachers and staff.  

• They will be busy. Do not take this time to ask if Little Suzy did a good job or if there will be dance class next Thursday.
• Do not ask the photographer (if there is one)  to take special pictures for you. He/She is also very busy.  There is a picture day for these kinds of requests.

• If you want to watch the dances, have a seat. Standing at the side of the stage is rude. It distracts from the dance, especially if your child is very young.  Buy a ticket and sit down. Many parents have to run back and forth between costume changes. It's part of the experience. Embrace it. 

#3 This relates to the first item. The recital is more than your child's class. There will be many, many numbers performing as there are many children involved. 

• Your child's dances will not be the first few numbers so that you can "get out of there."
• Allowing your child to watch the older kids will fill them with wonder and develop a deeper love for the art.  (Trust me on this.)
• If you must leave, do so quietly, without making a scene.
• Yes, it may take 2-2.5 hours for the recital to be finished. Enjoy it. These children have worked hard for many months to put on a good show for you.

#4 Things that I shouldn't have to say, but...

• Please refrain from using profanity in front of the children. It may be ok for you, but it may not for the kid standing next to you.
• Turn off your phone. No one cares that you're so important that you have to take a call in the middle of a performance.  It's rude.  And if you must take a call, go outside.
• Applaud for everyone.
• Thank the teachers for teaching your children.

Of course, they can't really put this stuff into a parent note.  But it would make things easier on everyone if they could. ;-)

PUMP!!!

Emily and her dad went to the pump class in February...wait...let me back this up.

When she was dx last June, we were told she had to wait 6 months to get a pump. This is bullshit. Since then, I've connected with other parents of diabetic children who tell me their child left the hospital with one. That wasn't a doctor rule, that was an insurance rule. 

In December, we started inquiring...it had been six months. She had an endo appt. in January. They also told us that the 6 month rule was bogus. (If you know anything of her struggles with this damned disease, you'll know why I'm pissed off.)  Her dad took her to the pump info class in February. We had a pump selected. They needed 30 days of blood sugar logs...and then she went into the hospital. We'll call March a wash. But somewhere in there, I managed to send those logs to the pump company who then tells us that the insurance wants 30 MORE days...because they aren't sure if she's diabetic??? WTF...So...I send the 30 more days

THEN...the insurance denies it b/c they won't buy it directly through the company. We had to go through their distributor. So....they call me.

 That  rep calls back for my payment info. Um...no. Long insurance story short, it should have been covered 100%. I tell her how to fix this. She grumps about it, tells me she'll call on Monday. On Tuesday, I called her, she said "oh, they won't accept it." So, I told her to have a nice day, I'd be taking my business elsewhere. (She was wrong BTW...they could have and should have fixed this. She was lazy and didn't want to do her job.)

I filled out the paperwork for the 2nd choice pump. Within 24 hours, the rep was calling me. Told me the insurance issue would not be an issue. She emailed me files that I needed to return. I did. Within 48 hours...the pump is being shipped. (and covered 100%) Medtronic has excellent customer service. Excellent.

Emily has a saline class to learn to use it on May 10. She has to go back after that to do the insulin class. As she's been running over 400 all week with high ketones... I'm ready to do this. I think she needs continuous short acting insulin. I'm very excited.  I hope that a continuous glucose monitor will be her next step. 

I Really Suck At Blogging

Because...really... are any of you even still reading this? You know, besides the Russians?

•  I missed Emily's birthday post. Um, sorry. She's 12 now though. 
• We're going back to the doctor for the 454,498th time today. High sugar, ketones. Oh...and her eye is red and swollen again. I don't even want to talk about it.
• The dog doesn't get out a lot these days. She goes right to the van for a ride if she does anyway. She's useless for blog material.
• Dance - well, I posted that rant on FB yesterday. Here's the summary: Chill the hell out.  If you've even read 1/4 of this blog, you know that it's important in our family, but please... it's not life. And this is coming from a parent of a kid who'd like to try to dance in college/teach dance, etc. But these competitions are for fun. No one is going to give a rat's ass what you scored at Podunk Regional in the Intermediate Division at one of 231 competitions going on that weekend when you're interviewing or auditioning for a job. You can tell the neighbors or grandma whatever you want. Oh, wait, I wasn't going to rant again. Dammit. I need to chill the hell out too.
• Oh... this is news. My baby is taking his ACT & PSAE today. The PSAE is required for graduation. Why we are even talking about THAT is beyond me. He's just in kindergarten. Or 11th grade. Shut up. I don't want to talk about that either. Of course, tonight, when he's acting 17... I'll be like, "why are you not grown and out of the house yet?" because teenage boys are assholes. I love him, but it's true.

That's enough for today.

*reminder - you have one month left to buy me pretty things for my birthday.

I Hate Hospitals

Although, after the past few months, I'm not sure my sanity has remained in tact.

At the end of February, Emmy's face started getting red - on one side. Her eye was swollen. It was hot and hard. I took her to convenient care. With her diabetes, they didn't want to mess around, so they sent her to the ER. The ER said she had dry skin, gave her an antibiotic and asked us to follow up with the pediatrician.

We did. He said the oral wasn't working and gave her a shot of rochephin. She was to return the next day for another. When she did, he said it wasn't working and sent her to the ER. They admitted her. After 24 hours on IV rochephin, it seemed to be spreading, so they put her on clindamyacin.  (oh, I'll probably spell all of this wrong... just deal with it. I'm too tired to look it up. ;-) ) I kept asking doc to call her endo. She was not concerned about her bg levels.  After 4 nights/5 days, she was released on an oral antibiotic. She had not yet finished it when it seemed to be getting worse.  (It was a 10 day course, we returned to the doctor after 7 days.)

She was sent back to the ER and admitted again. This time, they tried another IV antibiotic which I've now forgotten the name of. The doc on call this time was actually concerned about her high blood sugar (doc number 1, who was the same as doc #3 seemed unconcerned with readings over 300.  Don't even get me started on HER.)  However, this doc was in contact with her endo, so I felt a lot better. Again, after 4 nights/5days, she was released.   She was sent home with oral amoxicillin. (Seemed awfully weak to me, given what she had been on.). That was a 7 day course. At the end of the 7 days, the redness was back. It was her check up from her admission - and they sent her right back to be admitted.

Now, I"m starting to get mad. Why aren't they fixing this? Why didn't they even draw blood at admission #1? She'd had a clear CT scan at admission #2 and no signs of infection on labs with admission #2. So, they start questioning whether we were giving her her meds? Are you even freaking kidding me? I understand they have to ask, to rule it out, but once it was confirmed that that was NOT the case...WHY would they not start looking at "maybe this isn't what we think it is."  Again, I had to call her endocrinologist myself, because God-complex doc didn't think the high sugars were significant. They said minimum 7 days admission on IV vancomyacin. This is some seriously strong stuff. Well, after 2-3 days, she didn't look any better, her sugar was still too high - so we started talking transfer.

On day 4, Emmy was given an ambulance ride to the Children's Hospital where her endo works. They also had a pediatric infectious disease doctor there. I had to take the four year old with me - 24/7, so that was fun. However, we were given a space at Family House, so at least we didn't have to sleep in the van.

Less than 24 hours after our arrival, the ID doc comes in and says he doesn't think she ever had any infection. WHAT?????? And that he thinks she has an allergy. He took her off of the antibiotics (they were giving her the vanco and another on top of it.) and put her on Zyrtec and Flonase. Again.... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

She was released the next day.

So, that's where we are now. I'm not sure who to believe or what to believe. BUT.... her blood sugars have been within normal range 90% of the time since Saturday night. This has not happened in a long time.

She goes to the pediatrician tomorrow. I will be demanding an allergy panel.

Other than that, I'm exhausted and I need time to clear my head and catch up on work.

I just needed a place to record this. So...um, thanks for reading.

Seventeen

too fast

Spoiler: The Tornado Didn't Kill Us

April 2010. St. Louis, well, Collinsville.  We were having lunch at a Denny's before Sydney's dance competition. The sky was growing dark, but we only had to go across the street.  Fia and the boys were at my mother-in-law's house. Emily was in St. Louis at the City Museum with her aunt. My stepdaughter, Melissa, was with us, as was, of course, Sydney.

We drove across the street to the Gateway Center. Once we got out of the car, the sirens started. Tornado sirens. The sky was...angry. We were herded into the building by security guards. The girls were starting to panic a bit. They filed us into rooms, kitchens, maybe for the convention center - behind the convention/meeting rooms. We'll ignore the fact that these were nothing more than aluminum rooms, with nothing but garage doors protecting us from the approaching tornado because once we got settled into our spots, we kind of forgot that we were under a tornado warning.

Now, anyone who has ever seen a dance recital, competition, or that show... has seen the costumes. So, when I make this next statement you'll understand the severity of my laughter. I saw some people..some younger kids, some that looked a little old to be in a dance competition in...costumes. Really inappropriate costumes. Like...leather underwear, with a lion tail...and a studded bra top..and belly rolls hanging out. I thought..not only is that one crazy-ass studio owner who chose those costumes, but that girl is out of shape to be a dancer. And then I saw more. And more. I hadn't yet perfected the art of secret picture taking, so I only got one back there in our "shelter" and I can't find it.

Little did I know...they LOVED having their picture taken. In fact, they encouraged it. And, yes, we were probably out of the shelter for an hour before I finally figured out, the center had booked an Anime convention AND a dance competition on the same weekend.

It was quite the weekend. There was security put in place (because they kept trying to come into our dressing rooms and the room where they were performing.) Our hotel offered us a free stay because...well, they were quite a riot. Doors were taken off hinges, toilets broken... and leaving the convention center that first night, I had to cover my kids' eyes because, well, get a room, people.

However, it was definitely one of the more memorable competitions we've ever been to. Unfortunately? we'll miss them by a week this year.

Why Our Dance Studio Will Never Be On TV

Yeah, I watch Dance Moms. It's ridiculous. It's kind of like watching a train wreck. The editing is horrible. The scripted fights are even worse. And, because I've had a competitive dancer for about a billion years, I know things...things that the average "TV trainwreck" watcher might not catch.

For example, "the highest scoring junior lyrical solo goes to..." That's not first place, as the show would have you think. It means that she scored highest in lyrical. Maybe the kid next to her scored highest in jazz. That's not an overall category. Not that this matters, but I catch it. I also catch when they say girl A beat girl B, but they're in different age groups. I also notice when they read the scores off at awards that they're good, but they're platinum scores, either.

Anyway...I know that a lot of it is editing. And it's scripted, but there's no way our studio would ever be on a t.v. show like that. Sure, people at our studio get mad at each other. Occasionally people snap at each other. When you spend as much time as we all do together, it will happen - just like any family. But I've never witnessed anything even remotely close to the screaming and verbal abuse that I see on T.V.

But because that show puts such a negative spin on the competitive dance world, I want to write about the wonderful things I've seen at ours.

• We arrange carpools. (I don't get to participate this year, but it's still awesome.)
• No one ever goes hungry, even if their mom forgot to pack them a lunch on a 12 hour workshop day.
• When someone has a family crisis (death in family, accident, illness, etc.) our dance family is there for each other - posts, hugs, flowers, whatever they need.  For example, when Emily was in the hospital after being diagnosed with diabetes, several parents called or sent texts and offered help, meals, rides to dance for Sydney - anything we needed.
• If someone has a flat tire, they'll help you change your tire. And if your tire can't be changed, they'll wait patiently with you for the tow truck guy to replace your tire. (Or...they'll take you to their car right before the Pacers game to get you jumper cables because you have the worse luck ever.)
• We recently had a wedding in our dance family and everyone that could attend, did. 
• One of our moms had a baby about a year ago. We had a shower for her and many dance moms attended and wished her well.
• When I broke my ankle, three families offered to take Sydney to nationals for me.
• If someone is having trouble with hair or make up, someone is always happy to help. 
• When kids perform with their school teams, other parents (and coaches) go and watch them and cheer them on.

I could list examples of the kindness and compassion I've seen from this family of ours for pages and pages. And I know that we've been with the same people for over ten years - but I know that this is closer to the norm than what is depicted on that show. When I say I love those kids there (and I've written about them before), I really mean it. Their parents too. I don't get that feeling between those people on T.V.  I know, we wouldn't get very high ratings by sitting in a lobby talking about blue crayons and oddly placed rhinestones.  Most of us are there because our kids love to be there - and gaining a new family out of it is just a bonus.