Monday, November 7, 2011

I Have A.D.S.D. Attention Deficit Sloth Disorder

Symptoms: Distracted by shiny things, but too damned lazy to get up and see what they are.

Causes: Twitter, Facebook, and a "dysregulation, of certain brain chemicals known as neurotransmitters." (Thank you, WebMD.)

Treatment: Wine and sushi. My doctor* told me so.

*and by doctor, I mean Google. Because if you put the right search terms in, you can get Google to tell you whatever you want to hear.  I'm pretty sure Google just wants to get laid.

The fact is that by the time I get motivated to get my act together to do something, I'm so distracted by...oh, the dog needs to go out...that I forget what it is that I'm doing.  And then...yes, Sophia, you can have some water...
and crap, that reminder for that appointment is pretty useless since I set it for 15 minutes before, but it takes an hour to get there and I'm still wearing my pajamas and forpetessake Sophia, just eat the cracker.

And I know that my list is growing. I know I need to clear a path through the house so that when Greg is walking on crutches, he won't trip. I know that I need to call the guy about the thing and then get hold of the other guy about the stuff. And I know that I will be living in and out of doctor's offices for the next several days. Yet here, on this day that I have no appointments, I instead chose to write a blog post about how I can't get anything done.

Treatment: Procrastination with a side of  nap.**

**I'm going to Google that now for proof.


  1. bottom line is, i don't want to CATCH it, so I'm going to self medicate with wine and sushi as necessary.

  2. You hooked me with the title of this post...and then had me laughing through the entire thing! And my favorite part: *and by doctor, I mean Google. Because if you put the right search terms in, you can get Google to tell you whatever you want to hear. I'm pretty sure Google just wants to get laid.


    Happy Tuesday, my friend!

  3. It's not procrastination. It's choosing not to do the annoying stuff. Seriously, when the kids nap I COULD organize our baby clothes in bins by size. I COULD take care of our tax paperwork so that April isn't a huge disaster. I COULD clean out the fridge because I think I'm inventing new forms of life in there. But that stuff all blows.

    So is it procrastination or just making good choices ;)

  4. Uhoh! I have all of the telltale signs of A.D.S.D.!!!
    I'm so glad you warned me, so I can get my meds. haha

  5. That had me laughing out loud right out of a dead sleep (yes I read twitter while still in bed) especially the part about Google wanting to get laid. Too funny!

  6. Haha this made me laugh. It's like we share a brain. My reminders don't work cause i mindlessly clear them thinking I know what they are. I don't. I need a little personal assistant to live in my brain and organize everything. LOL

  7. Bahahahaha! OMG it's like you're watching MY life.

  8. OOOH! this is what I have. and it's made worse by Pinterest because EVERYTHING on there is shiny shiny.

  9. HAHAHA! This is too funny. I'm afraid I'm inflicted as well. Off to find sushi and wine. If I can remember that's what I need by the time I get there.