Wednesday, November 7, 2012

I'm Going Somewhere. Be Patient. Very Patient.

The combination of having an enormous amount of items on my to do list and possessing the attention span of a gnat makes now seem like a good time to write a blog post.

I've started three different topics and keep erasing them because I either don't want to open cans of tube-shaped, segmented animals on this blog or well, there's a squirrel that keeps knocking on my patio door. (NOT EVEN KIDDING!) Also, my fingernails are really brittle and that's distracting, guys. For real.

Seriously, what can I do to strengthen my nails? My grandma used to soak hers in clear Knox Gelatin. Did anyone else's grandma do that? Oh, wait, now that I Google it, I see that maybe she just drank it. I don't know. I never really saw her do either. I just know that she had a box of if it her cabinet at all times and it had a pictures of hands on it. Or maybe it didn't. Now all of these Google images are messing with my happy memory of Grandma protecting me from eating nasty, unflavored gelatin.

My grandma did let me eat pudding though. But I think I already blogged about that. Obviously, my nails were in good shape when I wrote that particular post. There is no mention of gelatin.  Does pudding strengthen nails? I don't know. Maybe I should do an experiment. I'll need a control group though. Who's in? Surely we don't have to use unflavored pudding, do we? Do they even make that? That sounds gross.

I'd like to try tapioca, pistachio, and chocolate. I'll need some volunteers though because I only have two hands and that's three kinds of pudding.  Step up, people.  Oh, but now my head is we use sugar free? Fat free? Instant or cooked? Oh, I'm gonna need a spreadsheet.  And probably a research grant because that's a lot of pudding to buy.  Not to mention, we're probably going to need some paper towels to clean the pudding off our hands - unless you're the "lick it off" type - in which case, um... only your own hands, ok?


  1. I wish I had your grandma. I got instant Sanka coffee and saltine crackers instead of pudding.

    My mom had Knox Gelatin with hands on the box too. I thought it was "hand stuff" and freaked out once when she used it to make Finger Jello.

    But now that I'm an adult, I totally get it. Fingers are ON hands. Totally makes sense. But I still hate finger jello.

  2. Drink it in OJ. My parents use it for cartilage. It's good for those with arthritis. Hey, that hands and nails lotion works great. But you might just want to try adding a multivitamin.