Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Sloth Family Holiday Letterant

Greetings, Sloth Followers.

And happy whatever you celebrate 2012. I'd better get this letter out of the way before all of the morons who do not subscribe to logic (and believe that foosball science is the devil) start posting about the Mayans on Facebook and I have to destroy my Internet connection.

Let me first get started on this holiday greeting thing. Seriously, stop posting "Why can't we say Merry Christmas " Because??? Who said you can't? Have you moved to another country? Pretty sure we can say whatever we want - and that includes greetings of other celebrations. I don't know anyone who has been publicly flogged for saying, "Merry Christmas."  Me? I just mumble uncomfortably and say, "you too" when someone greets me, public. talking. strangers. etc.  But, if someone chooses to say "Happy Holidays" it doesn't mean they have a goat strung across a pentagram in their basement.

I had originally intended to make this a spoof-letter, telling you how Sydney has come home from the crack house and that Sophia's infected tattoo is healing nicely, but I think I like the ranting direction that we're taking here. It's therapeutic.

And finally...the war on X-mas. Do you people just jump on whatever bandwagon happens to be passing? Is it an energy saving carpooling? Come on. While I agree, that most people use it to avoid writing or typing out ALL. THOSE. EXTRA. LETTERS. the origin of the word/symbol... hey, I'm not your mom. (Unless this is one of my kids reading this, in which case, yes, I am your mom. Calm down. But you can read on your own, for Pete's sake.) Read here: Helpful Link That I Googled  It means Χριστός or Christos I'll let you figure out the translation.  

Do you know what I do like on Facebook these days? Grumpy Cat. Grumpy Cat is the best meme going.

But seriously, Merry Christmas  Happy Hanukkah (I Googled that so I wouldn't spell it wrong), Joyous Kwanzaa (Googled that too), Seasons Greetings, Blessed Solstice, and Happy Festivus. I've already taken care of the airing of the grievances, bring on the feats of strength!


  1. If I see somebody carrying an angel, a wreath, wearing a Santa hat and fancy soap carved in the shape of three wise men, I'll take a leap of faith (pun intended) and say Merry Christmas. 'Cause that's how I roll. And if I want to have a digital menorah app on my phone, that's my business. And go ahead and say Joyous Kwanzaa to me though I don't celebrate it. I'll say thank you. Unless I'm up against a Twitter wall I type you, you're and your so yes, I type Christmas. And you know what, that's okay.

    1. I don't care what anyone says to me, although, honestly, I'd rather people just not greet me with phrases that social convention dictates I respond to.

  2. I'll just be difficult and say Happy Advent until December 25. Then say Merry Christmas for the next 12 days. Haha. And Happy Everything to you, my friend.