Monday, January 9, 2012

Pink Elephants and Purple Squirrels

I hate cold medicine.  It's got to be one of the most evil substances on the planet. How and or why people get pleasure out of mixing this crap with chemicals and using it to get high is beyond my comprehension.

Several days ago I started having pain in my face.  As is my usual, I continued to ignore it.  Today, I finally broke down and went out (in my pajama pants, no less) to pick up some sinus meds.  I figured, I haven't gone to bed before 2, er, 3 a.m. for the last several nights, so I'd just get night time stuff, toss out a few nonsense tweets (as if I need medication to achieve this), and get some sleep.  Except that when I got home, I realized that I bought daytime cold meds and the Dollar General equivalent of the stuff that replaced sudafed (since thanks to the meth addicts, I can't actually get the decent cold medicine anymore).   I figured the daytime stuff would just hype me up, so I took the fake-Sudafed.

Holy Monkey Balls.

I'm seeing pink elephants and purple squirrels. I'm also eating everything in sight. Cold medicine does that to me.  That's enough reason for me to hate it. That noise-sensitivity* issue that I blogged about a few days ago? Multiplied times 8 bazlllion.

*I spent three whole minutes trying to think of the word "sensitivity."

So, if I tell you I love you tonight, you might want to verify that with me in the morning.  I'll be on the roof, chasing the squirrels with a rubber spatula.


  1. We love you. Ya weirdo.

  2. But is the pain in your face better? Because I'll take pink elephants over sinus pain any day.

  3. How'd I miss this? HOW??

    *checks follow settings*

  4. let us know when you starting seeing woozles and heffalumps as well

  5. hahaha wow, that is crazy. and kind of awesome. you should sell this stuff on the street!